Sunday, February 1, 2009

The Beauty Hoarder

My side of the bathroom vanity is a mess. My husband's side: A water glass. A pill box.

On my side stands body lotions, face soaps, facial creams, perfumed lotions, perfume, and so many different hair products I could give all the neighborhood women stand up straight, curl down tight, or slick 'n smooth, hair do's.

This morning after I shampooed my hair, added hydrating leave-in conditioner, slapped on goo to thicken my too thin individual hairs, I went to grab a jar of hair paste to get that chunky look. Very carefully, using my best agility skills, I dipped my hand into the middle of a rats nest worth of jars, cans, plastic bottles, sprays, and I nicked one with my thumb, BA-BOOM -- one by one everything fell like a seamless row of dominoes.

I am a hoarder (not to mention insecure AND lest us not forget feverishly looking for the Fountain of Youth). Imagine my surprise when I realized the hoarding bit. I had no idea! If there's a dab left of whatever it is--face wash, fine line wrinkle creams, deep wrinkle cream, vitamin C cream, "serums," hair sprays and countless lotions--it's saved. What would happen if the small wrinkles came back and all I had was deep wrinkle remover? What then, huh?

And so it goes. There are lotions to firm my butt, put my ankle skin back where it belongs, push boobs up up up--do you suppose that's where double chins come from? I hadn't thought about that until now!

I have serums not only get rid of wrinkles, but to erase all the sun damage I've created since being an inhabitant of earth (shame on me!), and remember the myriad of deodorants, perfumes, mascara, make-up, blush, lipstick, eye liner, lip liner, eye shadow, blush brushes, shadow brushes, lip brushes, hair brushes, tubes of lipstick so old they could be used as Spackle, and of course lip gloss, who could live without lip gloss??? Need I go on? I'm exhausted thinking about it!

My conclusion? In order for me to be really organized, I need the shelving of a Sephora cosmetic shop or at the very least, the cosmetic and personal products lane at the local Safeway.

With all the products available for us to fluff up, slim down, even out, plump, dump, hydrate and so on, isn't it amazing any of us actually have the nerve to show ourselves in public?

So I had to do something this morning, and I did. I put everything on the counter in a several baskets, and put them under the counter now I don't have to look at it, I just have to find it ...ack!

Life is good so enjoy~~~~


Diana Black said...

Beauty, they say, is in the eyes of the beholder...or the one with the most cosmetics!

I found a little tube of "stuff" the other day and had to go online to find out what the heck it was for!

Since I googled AFTER I'd applied it, I was happy to learn I used it on the right part of my body.

And you're right. Men. A toothbrush, razor, some soap and they're pretty much good to go.

Thanks for today's insight!


Puss-in-Boots said...

Oh you remind me of myself when I was younger, Cindy. I had everything from the beauty shelves, I must have spent a fortune over the years.

The beauty of being my age now, I can get away with moisturiser, tinted with SPF 30 for outside, some foundation, a little eyeshadow, mascara and lipstick. My main expense these days is perfume...I looooove perfume, but I have even cut back on those. Not that it stops me trying the samples when I'm shopping...teehee.

Kelly Pollard said...

It's a serious problem I share with you. Not to mention that whenever there is an occasion to give me a gift, I always receive bath and body products that ultimately disappear into the abyss under my sink.

Eileen Williams said...

You must be spying in my own bulging make-up drawer! In fact, I just purchased a whole new slew of anti-aging "miracle cures." Of course, they promise to make lines (both fine and furrowed) disappear. Whether or not these advertised flights of fantasy actually accomplish this feat it debatable, but they do lighten my wallet--for sure!
Remember the movie, "Three Coins in a Fountain?" Well, the fountain of youth has claimed well over 3 gazillion, I'm sure!

April said...

Once a year or so I try to make myself purge at least some of the stuff on my bathroom counter but it's hard! One thing that helped is that I like Ulta cosmetics so at Christmas when they had their traincase on sale (which uses the actual colors they sell individually), I bought it on the theory that I'll get to try out lots of colors and see which work well and which don't. Which I HOPE will cut down on the number of things I buy that don't quite work but I can't make myself get rid of.....